About Today’s Episode:
Today we’ve got another solo episode coming your way. We’re going to talk about weight loss truths that most people are NOT ready to face.
I made a small post about this and it really struck a chord with people, so I wanted to talk more in-depth about it.
I often find that when I make a post that upsets a lot of people, it reveals an area where we have room for improvement.
By getting into these weight loss truths on the podcast, I can elaborate and really get into explaining these concepts so that those of you who are going to take this information and run with it will have a better understanding.
These, again, are weight loss truths that most people are NOT ready to face—so they will be uncomfortable, because ignorance is bliss.
What I want most is for you all to achieve your goals—and if you don’t face these truths, you won’t be able to build a good foundation.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Introductions
01:59 Sponsors
03:52 Topic Starts
24:30 #9 - If you know what to do but don't do it, you either don't actually know or don't actually care
Transcript (click to expand)
Episode Synopsis:
#1 - Working out isn't therapy—therapy is therapy:
This triggers people every time I talk about it: working out is NOT therapy. Working out is therapeutic, but it’s not therapy—therapy is therapy.
I talk about journaling a lot; similarly, journaling is therapeutic, not therapy.
If you’re upset, think of it this way: therapy has an objective definition—like math class is math class. Things can be therapeutic, but that does not make them a replacement for therapy.
If I had a broken arm, but said “running is my doctor,” the running won’t do anything for the broken arm.
Going to the gym is a positive outlet, but oftentimes people I encounter who say working out is their therapy are actually using it as a suppressive tool.
Think of it this way: if you had a close friend, or a child, who had terrible anxiety, depression, food relationship issues, etc., would you tell them to “just go workout” because it’s just as good as therapy?
No, of course not.
Therapists go to school for years to be qualified to help others. Working out can be great for your mental health, but for people who call working out their therapy, it’s like their overeating, or their alcohol—again, it’s a suppressive mechanism.
People who go to the gym, work out really hard, and don’t leave space to think about their inner child issues, their trauma, or their anxiety, are using working out as a way to not deal with issues.
That’s what I mean when I say it’s a suppressive mechanism—it’s avoidance.
I am not saying that working out is bad for your mental health, I am saying it is not a replacement for therapy.
#2 - Your metabolism isn't slow, you just eat more than what you think:
This is the case for a lot of people.
Many people blame their age, thinking that their metabolism doesn’t run the way it used to, but in reality, your metabolism is most likely fine.
In our coaching program, one of the first things we do is work to fix people’s metabolisms. If you have been sticking to a low-calorie diet and not strength training for years, yes, your metabolism will be slower.
HOWEVER, most people are eating more than they think.
Again, we see this in coaching—you may think you are eating 1200 calories, but when you log every calorie, you find out that you ate 1200 calories for two days… and then the weekend hit.
If you tediously track every calorie you eat for the next month, you will realize that your metabolism is not slow, you are simply eating more than you think.
#3 - Nothing is wrong with your hormones, you just aren't consistent for even a few weeks:
This one really upsets a lot of people, but most people take this out of context.
I actually have hormone problems—my testosterone levels are low, about 300 when they should be 1000—but leading up to me getting my hormones tested and getting on TRT, I was consistent and my results still weren’t there. I went and got my hormones tested, started treatment, and things changed.
Most people saying their hormones are out of whack—and that’s why they aren’t losing weight—are not consistent.
We coach a lot of women, most middle-aged, about half of whom have issues like PCOS, Hashimoto’s, insulin resistance, are going through menopause, etc., but when they show up and are doing their part every day, they lose weight.
If you are consistent and your results are not happening, go get your hormones tested.
#4 - You saying you're an all-or-nothing person is just validating your bad behavior:
You have to understand that saying you’re an ‘all-or-nothing person’, is saying you’re not responsible for your own actions.
You are validating bad decisions.
Here’s an example: if you drop your phone and crack the screen, you keep using your phone, right? You don’t bash your phone with a hammer until it won’t turn on because “you’re an all-or-nothing person.”
If your car had one flat tire, you wouldn’t slash the other three tires.
You wouldn’t apply that ‘all-or-nothing’ philosophy across every area of your life. You are just using the excuse of being an all-or-nothing person when faced with something you struggle with.
#5 - You always saying you're going to “start over Monday” is lazy:
Along the same lines of being ‘all-or-nothing’, saying you’ll start over on Monday is lazy.
If it’s a Thursday afternoon and you overeat while you’re out with your friends, you can still go get your workout in, drink your water, do your journaling, etc.
You are always only ONE decision away from getting back on track.
#6 - You're spending way too much time fighting for your limitations:
This one is big. There is an old saying that goes, “if you fight for your limitations, then you can have them.”
We all have limitations, and we all have problems, but when you fight for them by saying things like “you don't understand, I grew up…” or “you don’t understand, my thyroid…” and you’re fighting for your limitations… you can have them.
When you fight for your limitations, you are taking steps to keep yourself from getting to where you want to be—and to validate those limitations.
Just because something is not your fault doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility.
For example, when my wife and I bought this house, the first week we moved in, there was a water leak in the bathroom. That wasn’t my fault. The building inspector didn’t notice the leak—again, not my fault. There ended up being a water leak and guess whose house it is? Mine.
Now, imagine if I just left that leak…
You are spending so much of your bandwidth fighting for the reasons why you won’t make it. Imagine if you, instead, spent that time moving forward.
#7 - You're looking for reasons to fail and struggle—and that's why you're finding them:
We always get what we look for.
If you are always failing and struggling, it’s probably because you are looking for failure.
I have a YouTube video on the reticular activating system (RAS) that everyone should go check out for deeper insights into this topic, but, essentially, you have organs in your brain that show you what you’re looking for.
If you are looking for reasons why you won’t succeed, your brain will hide successes and give you data to validate your belief that you will struggle.
If you are consciously (or unconsciously) feeling like you are always struggling or always failing, you are probably looking for failure.
What you think about, comes about. On all levels, we get what we look for.
#8 - You aren't doing your best:
A lot of people don’t like this one.
I am not saying you have to max out every day, but chances are you are not doing your best.
If you are validating your bad behavior, not getting your habits in, always ‘starting over Monday’, etc., you are simply NOT doing your best.
#9 - If you know what to do but don't do it, you either don't actually know or don't actually care:
A lot of times I see this happen when someone will say they know they need to eat better—but they just don’t—and can’t figure out what their problem is.
For most people, they either just don’t care or their current reality doesn’t hurt bad enough.
You go to work, pay your bills, and brush your teeth—even when you don’t want to—because you know the alternative of not doing these things would hurt more.
I ask people on coaching calls all the time, “what is the alternative if you don’t move forward? What happens over the next decade?”
That’s when people get emotional.
You either know what to do and don’t care, are not aware of the negative consequences, or truly don’t know what to do.
#10 - You have so much more control than you realize, you're just choosing not to utilize it:
Most people look at their control in the wrong places—like outcomes.
You can’t control when the weight comes, how much weight you lose, how fast, how slow, etc. You CAN control your actions.
You can control your attitude and your thoughts.
A perfect example of this is this picture of a horse tied to a cheap lawn chair. The horse could easily break itself away from the chair, but it thinks it’s stuck because it doesn’t realize the control it actually has.
Your actions, habits, thoughts, and attitude are all in your control.
#11 - If you've been dieting for years, you're most likely taking your struggles to the grave unless you work with a really good coach:
I am not saying you have to work with me or my team. I am saying that—statistically speaking—psychologically, physiologically, if you have been struggling for years, you are more likely to take those struggles to your grave.
The more you yo-yo, the more your body learns that every time you lose weight, something will happen to gain it all back.
I am not trying to make this a bigger deal than it is—or push unwarranted fear—I just want you to understand that if you have been struggling long-term, you need someone who can provide you with a guide to get out of the hole you’ve dug yourself in to.
I love coaching because it’s the ultimate life hack. It's the most sustainable way to change your life. I personally have invested around $100,000 in the past 5-10 years on coaching and I credit a lot of my successes to it.
The mind and nervous system crave what’s familiar. If struggling and yo-yoing is what’s familiar, that’s where you will drift.
If you are okay taking your struggles to your grave, that’s fine.
If you want to change, I encourage you to look into coaching.
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